Get thee to a Costco! Right now. Ignore the shiny new Google TVs, hearing test booths and magnum bottles of bourbon. Run to Baked Goods and grab a box of traditional AUSSIE BITES with Omega-3. Now, slide your finger to tear through the “no trans fat” label. Crack open the PETE thermoformed plastic container and hear its crinkling symphony. All of a sudden it smells like Christmas (or whatever…you know what we mean)! Take your first bite—there you go!
You’ll find the initial contact a bit dry, but once you unleash the honey and residual juices from the raisins and dried apricots, the inside of your mouth will go from desert to oasis. Okay, that’s a stretch—after your 3rd or 4th in a row, a glass of milk (ooh, or rum!) will be necessary. The unsalted butter and sugar bring out a classic baked good taste, which is complimented by the fruits and coconut. The coconut, flax and sunflower seeds add a texture that prevents the whole thing from turning into mushy oatmeal in your mouth, and the rolled oats embrace the rest of the ingredients like a Green Peacer in a forest. Please do not eat them all in the store. And remember to pay.
If you don’t have a Costco near you, you will not be completely denied (though don’t go looking at Sam’s Club—apparently they discontinued their version a few years ago). There are plenty of recipes across the web for DYI snack aficionados. If the seven grams of fat per bite or the two sticks of butter freak you out, there are versions that substitute olive oil and applesauce.
How many bites does it take to finish an Aussie Bite? In civilized society, we say three. But you may find yourself going at them like the dingo tearing into that poor baby.