Is it good that Xtreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle Pringles taste exactly like actual dill pickles? Pringles, a perennial snack favorite that doesn’t have much to prove, has already cornered a fairly specific market—is there any other non-fried potato chip that the public calls by brand name?—and are justly beloved by a fairly extensive (anecdotal) sampling of the populace. Most importantly, Pringles are unique; nothing much tastes like them. Pringles have reached that strata of food, like Banana Runts or Diet Coke, that can only really be described as tasting exactly like themselves.
Ostensibly, we would assume that exact duplication is what Pringles was attempting, for Pringles has been replicating flavors of kid-friendly foods for years, namely pizza. But there seems to be real efficacy in those previous iterations: Pizza-flavored Pringles are a snack substitute for a delicious, kid-friendly meal. Dill pickles, however, are already snack-sized and not exactly a sensation among rockin’ tweens. So what exactly is the benefit of Xtreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle Pringles over, say, a dill pickle? Not much that we can see.
Unless maybe Pringles feels that brined produce really can coalesce teens into a viable market force. Using the packaging as a barometer, we assume the conversation Pringles wants to inspire goes like this:
EXT. SKATE PARK – DAY
Whoa brah! That was a dope jackflip you just did off of the principal’s car, which we stole earlier! Where did you learn such wiggity wack moves?!
As you know, my brodizzle, yesterday I was just a sissy who didn’t know a 50/50 turnkick from a 360 spitflyer and also never got any ladies. But when I got home from school, my mom gave me a totally sweet can of Xtreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle Pringles, and now my skills are tight enough to beat the rich kids in the Skateboarding Contest later today!
Word? I’m gonna go ask my mom to get me some Xtreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle Pringles right now! I love snacks that taste like a deli!
PRETTY SKATEBOARD LADY
Me and my friends are going to date you guys because of your killin’ moves and vinegary breath!
SKATEBOARDER #1 and 2
We’re gonna cut class forever!!!!
We can all assume that thiis isn’t exactly what is going to happen, right?